Stealthy Godzilla Round 6: Back from the Breach
- No DLC Team
- Jun 7, 2017
- 4 min read
In our second-to-last round of Stealthy Godzilla for this term, the game decided to make up for round five and be a tad kinder to us. Most took some work but that work was rewarded with a few decent ones and an absolute pearl which we're really proud of and believe will be duking it out for top spot when we try and pick an overall winner on next weeks show.
For those experiencing Stealthy Godzilla for the first time here are the rules: we are each given a random genre, character setting and (PG) cards against humanity card and have to put them together to each, with the others help, pitch a video game. SO, without further ado, let us meet this weeks contenders
Rob’s Game
GRANDPA JOE’S TRIP TO SPACE
Genre: Indie, artsy walking simulator
Setting: Space
Character: Grandpa Joe from Willy Wonka
CAH card: Being a Dinosaur
Along the tour of the chocolate factory which Grandpa Joe questionably rediscovered his ability or willingness to walk for, he treats himself to a strange looking chocolate bar that he was not supposed to have. The resulting hallucination makes up the bulk of this bizarre indie game. You play as Grandpa Joe, as a dinosaur floating serenely through space. An eery voice over and a few metaphorical visions come to him and lead him to the epiphany that if he can get out of bed to go to a chocolate factory he can probably get out of bed to help out his daughter and son in law who are working so hard to feed him and the whole extended family!
Award: Game whose development was clearly fuelled by unmatched hatred
Junice’s Game
BUSY BEAN
Genre: Procedurally generated exploration
Setting: Prison
Character: Sean Bean
CAH: Being a Busy Adult with many important things to do
Oh dear, Sean Bean has so many important adult-y things to do. He has to tend to his allotment, he has to pay the bills, check his gas meter, bleed his bathroom radiator and, as Sean Bean always has to do, die. In the way of Sean Bean having a productive Tuesday is the inconvenience of his incarceration. Each day you, the player, wakes up as Sean Bean in a procedurally generated prison and has to find a way to complete his to-do-list from within the confines of a high security penal institution. Every day ends with the same task: dying. A task which only resets the whole game but with a harder difficulty and a new prison. The whole game is elevated by Sean Bean narrating this adult duties in the most serious and sullen of tones. There’s even a “one does not simply” reference for those players cheeky enough to try escaping prison through the front door.
Award: Game which blew 80% of its budget on the voice actor alone
Adam’s Game
BIG BOSS IN WESTEROS
Genre: RPG
Character: Solid Snake
Setting: Westeros
CAH Card: The case of Downton Abbey
Solid Snake, along with the cast of Downton Abbey, have fallen through a wormhole into the land of Westeros. Putting aside their differences very quickly, Snake organizes the group into a new house to rival the likes of the Lannisters and Starks. Unfortunately, all of Snake’s guns are frazzled from the journey through the wormhole and so it is up to Snake to not only infiltrate and take over each other house, but to also steal resources for weapon repairs. That means it’s time to settle in for hours of Snake taking out people with broadswords and arrows, all whilst donning the drapes of his House’s seal. Eventually, you can get your weaponry back and take on the bigger enemies in Westeros. Gregor Clegane might think he’s a badass, but can even he survive being attacked by a Metal Gear? The answer: I don’t think so.
(Oh and I know that Solid Snake and Big Boss are two different people, but I don’t care in this instance so *shush*.)
Award: Lives up to its protagonist’s namesake in that it is completely and utterly ‘solid’
Franki’s Game
(TELL)TALES FROM THE SHIRE
Genre: Telltale Game
Character: Frodo
Setting: The Local Butcher
CAH Card: Puberty
You are playing as Frodo, not the protagonist from the main trilogy but the son of his best friend Sam who is now the Mayor of the Shire. Struggling with having the name of a great hero, puberty and being the son of a local authority figure, Frodo takes up a part time job at the local butchers to get closer to a cute girl he likes. Frodo begins to notice an increasing amount of peculiar physical and behavioural changes happening amongst the Hobbits of the Shire and believes it is linked to the mysterious hooded figure who has been selling very cheap meat to the mother of his crush who runs the butchers. Not wanting to bring undue trouble upon the family of his beloved or worry his father who refuses to contemplate that any evil may still exist in the world, Frodo goes out to investigate this further himself. It is up to the player to solve the mystery and save the Shire whilst juggling many complex relationships as Frodo goes through the most difficult years in a young mans life.
(Chapter One is tentatively titled: Meet the Meat)
Award: The “well that’s not supposed to happen” award for the Stealthy Godzilla game with some actual character depth behind it
Overall Verdict
A strong week to make up for the last two (whose games were, at best: 'meh' and at worst: pretty awful). This episode, the games have been mostly solid - with the exception of GRANDPA JOE'S TRIP TO SPACE - but Franki is the clear winner this week as (TELL)TALES FROM THE SHIRE stands head and shoulders above the rest of this week's competition, emerging as a strong rival to the current favourite: Arkham Ewok.
Next week, we'll be pitting all of our top games against each other in the Grand Finale of Stealthy Godzilla in order to determine a champion, so tune in for what is sure to be a mighty rumble!
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