STEALTHY GODZILLA Round 3: The Return of Franki
- No DLC Team
- May 23, 2017
- 4 min read
Another show and, of course, another instalment in the NoDLC teams attempts to stumble upon an amazing game idea by sheer dumb luck. This week saw the return of Franki meaning we should, in theory at least, have am even greater chance of doing so. For those unfamiliar with the rules, please refer to the article for round one which details them.
This week produced an astonishingly solid batch of games stretching from the inappropriately absurd to all the way to so good it is almost not even funny. There are certainly a couple of strong competitors to go up against Batman: Arkham Ewok from round two in here. Without further ado, let us delve right in.
Adam’s game:
TELLTALE PRESENTS: ROAR! SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST (FEAT. KATY PERRY AND RICHARD DAWKINS)
Genre: Telltale
Setting: The Plains of Africa
Character: Katy Perry
Cards Against Humanity Card: An argument with Richard Dawkins
From the makers of such modern classics as ‘The Walking Dead’, ‘The Wolf Among Us’ and ‘Minecraft: Story Mode’ comes a brand new tale of survival, atheistic pondering and colourful, self-empowering chart-toppers. Katy Perry has travelled to the plains of Africa to shoot a brand new follow-up to her hit song ‘Roar!’ (possibly titled ‘Squawk’ or something – let the player decide), accompanied by renowned ethologist and angry man Richard Dawkins, who I guess is there to check the accuracy of animal behaviour. Whilst there, the animals rebel against the film crew, forcing them to flee into the jungle and fight for survival. You play as Katy Perry as you attempt to navigate as many of your crew to safety as possible. Richard Dawkins, unable to escape to his private helicopter in time, is stuck with them and is up to you, the player, to decide how this pairing will pan out. Will you try to ignore him, harmoniously disagree (there’s a platinum trophy for you if you succeed at that) or will you fall lovingly into each other’s embrace? The choice is up to you.
Award: Guaranteed to make it onto at least one critic’s end-of-year ‘Top Ten’ list
Rob’s game:
WRESTLE PAC-MANIA
Genre: Sports
Setting: The Secret Vaults of the Vatican
Character: Pac-Man
Cards Against Humanity Card: Jeff Goldblum
The original icon of the gaming industry is sticking up for his friends against some of the heavyweights from those pesky movies that everyone keeps going on about. To prove video game superiority, Pac-Man has dusted off his boxing gloves and is ready to rumble. Standing in his way to entertainment industry dominance are fights against Jeff Goldblum in his scientific laboratory from Cats and Dogs (great movie, go watch), Tom Hanks in the secret vaults of the Vatican, Daniel Day-Lewis in the Ford’s Theatre and many, many more. There's a convoluted and forced story mode to get through but it is in split screen where the real fun with this title is to be had.
Award: The game nobody will buy, but will hope their friend does so they can head over for a quick go on it.
Junice’s Game:
DEADPOOL AND THE SAD, FAT, LONELY DRAGON
Genre: RPG
Setting: Morallycorruptoplis
Character: Deadpool
Cards Against Humanity Card: A sad fat dragon with no friends
Oh Deadpool, you’ve really gone and done it now! Years of his hedonistic, irresponsible and wise-cracking lifestyle has left his only true friend, a dragon (a possibly hallucinatory dragon but let us not dwell on such trivial matters), dishevelled and lacking in spirit. The dragon has grown sad, fat and very, very lonely. It is up to the player as to whether Deadpool, through his actions in the game only continues this downward spiral or sorts himself out and comes to the aid of his longtime bestie. The health, happiness and general well-being of said dragon essentially working like the morality meter from Red Dead Redemption but with far bleaker consequences for those who choose to throw their principles to the wind.
Award: The “practically wrote itself award” for practically writing itself.
Franki’s Game:
HAWKEYE'S FAMILY BLITZING FUN
Genre: Family
Setting: An insensitive reimagining of a war in which millions died
Character: Hawkeye
Cards Against Humanity Card: Waking up Half-Naked in a Little Chef Car Park
Hawkeye has fallen asleep, half-naked, in a little chef car park (classic Hawkeye!!). His alcohol induced dreams see him and his motley group of sidekicks, otherwise known as the Avengers, slapped in the middle of World War 2 where they decide to make a game out of killing all those nasty Nazis to pass the time until Hawkeye wakes up! This game will follow the template set out by the Mario Party series except with a much more inappropriate setting and some pretty sick mini-games to teach your kids about the horrors of war. Who doesn’t want to see Thor, Hulk and black widow competing against each other in whack-a-nazi-mole? Answer that question in four beers time.
Award: The Game most elevated by the consumption of alcohol
Overall Verdict:
A incredibly tough one to call this week, as we're pretty sure all of these games could be fighting it out near the top spot when we come to do our definitive ranking list. Whilst Deadpool and the Sad, Fat, Lonely Dragon would probably make for a great game, we felt that it lacked that kick of ridiculousness we look for in Stealthy Godzilla games. Conversely, whilst Hawkeye's Family Blitzing does sound very silly, we're cautious that it would probably run out of steam pretty quickly unless you're all intoxicated. This leaves us with a straightforward shoot-out between Telltale's ROAR! and Wrestle Pac-Mania: a shoot-out in which we feel the Roar! just about nudges its way to victory, once the possibility of a star-crossed romance was introduced to the mix.
Comments