STEALTHY GODZILLA Round #2: The search for the stealthiest of Godzillas continues
- No DLC Team
- May 16, 2017
- 3 min read
Another week, another installment in what is sure to go down as the magnum opus of the NoDLCRequired brand – Stealthy Godzilla. For those unfamiliar with the rules, please refer to our Round 1 article, which will both clear up any confusion you might have before then confusing you again with such delights as an Edna Mode rhythm game.
This week Stealthy Godzilla bestowed upon us some pretty decent gems. I wouldn’t say they top the craziness of Angsty Anakins: Resurgence or rapping Edna Mode, but at least one looks like a strong competitor to be the overall winner of Stealthy Godzilla.
Oh, on that note: the week after Round 5 is when we shall present our grand overall victor. We will also at some point after/around then put up a definitive Stealthy Godzilla article, which ranks all these games from worst to best. Until then, let’s take a look at the latest contenders to the crown…
Adam’s game:
THE LIFE AND DEATH OF SLENDER MAN
Genre: Point and click murder mystery
Setting: Your Dreams
Character: Slender Man
Card against humanity card: (Not used) Chainsaws for hands
Slender man has been murdered and it is up to you to solve the mystery of who has done it. You are transported to the dreamscape that he called home. Throughout the journey, twists and turns will come to reveal that Slender Man was not the monster many thought him to be, but a victim. Trapped inside a nightmarish video game in which he was repeatedly chased and harassed by an intruder with a flashlight, Slender Man was eventually killed by the merciless “Player” - a villain who you will have to go up against lest you be caught in the same torturous cycle.
Award: Most potential for meta-ness. Maybe could be interesting?
Junice’s game:
ARKHAM EWOK
Genre: Action/Adventure Game
Character: Batman
Setting: Ewok Village
Cards Against Humanity Card: An entrenched class system
On the Forest Moon of Endor, a Wookie insurgency has introduced a dominant class system to an Ewok village. A large number of the Ewoks rally to the cause, subjugating the less-combative Ewoks and transforming the societal hierarchy. It is up to Batman to help set the society straight, but who is the Wookie in charge and why does he sound like Mark Hamill?
Proof that Batman’s broodiness is not restricted simply to our galaxy, Arkham Ewok continues the classic hand-to-hand and stealth combat that defined the Arkham games, only instead of human thugs, it’s Ewoks that meet the business end of Batman’s batarangs. If the idea of Batman performing stealth takedowns on fascist Ewoks doesn’t sell this game for you, then I’m not sure what more I can say on the matter.
Award: Forget full price - Adam and Rob would happily splash the cash for the season pass edition of this game.
Rob’s game:
A WEDNESDAY IN RUSSIA
Genre: Open World Sandbox
Setting: Feudal Russia
Character: Wednesday Addams
Cards Against Humanity card: Wifely duties
Wednesday Addams is performing wifely duties the only way she knows how: by causing death and destruction. In this open world sandbox, the player controls the goth icon in feudal Russia, finding any and every way to relieve peasants of the heavy burden that is life. Instead of a food and water meter, Wednesday has a mood scale that can only be raised by undertaking homicidal activities. The twist is that there is a serious case of reverse pathetic fallacy—the lower the mood scale, the sunnier it gets; and the brighter it is, the happier people are. And Wednesday doesn’t want that. So get killing, and remember: let us join in grief, rejoice in despair, and honour the fortunate dead.
Award: Cult classic, as everything with the Addams family is.
Overall Verdict:
The NoDLC team reckons that this one comes down between Arkham Ewok and Wednesday in Russia, as The Life and Death of Slender Man, whilst interesting, just can’t live up to the barminess of Batman beating up Ewoks or a Wednesday Addams game with reverse pathetic fallacy. Adam and Rob come down on the side of Arkham Ewok, whilst Junice is always partial to a bit of Wednesday Addams. All in all, a successful round, we feel.
Come back again for Round 3 where Franki joins the fray; thereby giving us four games instead of just three! Don’t tell us we don’t make the most of our two-hour brunchtime radio spot.
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